Believe it or not, it has been about a year since I began this little series of articles. When I was approached about doing a weekly bit in the two papers, I gave my assent perhaps too quickly. I could think of a few things from my experience that might be at least mildly entertaining to the public at large. However, after a few days, I began to have concerns as to what I might write about on down the line.


You see, I am just not a very interesting person. “Bland” pretty well describes me. Generally speaking, I have the all the sparkling personality of an ill-tempered rock, and even my most ardent admirers (both of them) admit that I am not likely to be mentioned as a candidate for the MEP Award (Most Entertaining Person).


But, spreadsheets are wonderful things. I immediately started one on my laptop, and as I think of something that would be even an outside possibility for an article, I note it down, since my memory is abysmal. I trust you will forgive my writing inordinately about myself, but all the experts tell us that the successful writer will stay with what he knows - and I don’t know much.


I want to say that I appreciate greatly those individuals who have taken a few minutes to be interviewed by me for an article. I have tried to have both fact and quasi-fiction here, both the comical and the serious. For example, I recently did a spot about the influenza epidemic of 1918, which is very germane given the Current Emergency. You cannot get much more serious than that. But other articles have been completely farcical and fun.


I also appreciate that a few of you have told me that you enjoy these little efforts. I have had great fun writing them, but it is nice to know that someone else gets at least some pleasure from them.


I might explain a little bit about Woodrow Dexter. He is not a real person, but is a composite character taken from various people that I have known. At least so far, all the stories involving him have had at least some element of truth behind them, although considerably embellished.


For example, at the time of their wedding, one of my sons-in-law unfortunately had been taken quite ill, to the point of visiting the emergency room the night before. He was able to stand through the ceremony, but had to sit for the photo session. We were afraid that if he stood that long, the outcome might have been like what I portrayed as happening to Woody in his wedding.


It may be somewhat of a mystery to some of you that I am still above ground and able to write anything. You are perhaps marveling that, because of my portrayals of her, Mrs. Green has not long since put me six feet under by means of a well-aimed skillet or cyanide in my coffee.


I will assure everyone that I love my bride dearly and do not know how I could get along without her. You may be sure that anything appearing herein that involves her has been pre-approved. (I may be dim-witted, but I am not suicidal.) She is a good sport about it all, and is hoping to parley the publicity into a consulting job in fire ant prevention.


So, in the meantime I am keeping my eyes open for topics, and adding them to the spreadsheet when something suggests itself to me. (I wonder if folks would be interested in an article about Spit Bubble Blowing.)